kungfusteakhouse started following you

“Why hello there nice to meet you!”

“Good afternoon everyone!

ironicisttestified:

Don’t sniff me,ya freak!How the hell’d ya even figure that out from just sniffin’ me,ya loon!?You sure you’re still not a crack addict?Besides,there’s no castle in  the sky.Not anymore.It was destroyed and crumbled down and crashed,explodin’ and killin’ all nearby whom it may have fallen upon.Probably crashed onto an orphanage.Or a preschool.Or an old folks home.Or all three.

“I didn’t know for sure until you just told me. I’m positive I’m not a crack addict. If I was Mommy and Daddy would send me back to that rehab facility, and I can’t go back there. I owe some people money and they’d be on my ass. And God made them all die because they were filthy sinners. Doesn’t anyone read the bible these days?”

ironicisttestified:

I didn’t do anythin’ sinful,say anythin’ ‘bout there bein’ no hope or anythin’ to be a dirty swine nor even mention Jews,and I certainly don’t worship a demon lord,but I ain’t a sinful man,and I’ve died before,back when I was more religious,I guess.Know what I saw?Nothin’.Darkness.There is no afterlife,darlin’,and I’d appreciate if you got your overly-obsessive religious mouth in place for one moment and listened to your elders,cause clearly they know more than you.Now scram,kid.

“…” she leaned over and sniffed him, a scowl on her face. “HEATHEN! You’ve had premarital sex! That’s why you didn’t go to heaven! Unlike you, when I die there is a golden castle waiting for me in the sky! So SUCK IT, ASSHOLE!”